I hate talking on the phone. I don't know what it is about the little piece of metal and plastic with numbers on it that stresses me out, but it does. I'm never totally sure how to talk to people, what's appropriate phone manners, what's formal, informal and when to say anything. My sense of humor isn't understood. My jokes aren't laughed at, or probably even recognized. I laugh awkwardly to signify it was a joke, but I imagine the person on the other line sits in their chair, wondering why the person they talk to is so weird. More than weird, why is she delusional, nonsensical or just so awkward. (Awkward is the perfect word for it's definition. It's just spelled so... awkwardly.) I'm an awkward person already, but get me on the phone and all hope is lost right there. My awkwardness is endearing in person (or so I'm told...), and there's enough personality to make up for it. Or I can smile and curve my eyebrows just enough to look like I'm sorry for being so awkward, I don't do it on purpose, really! But on the phone, you can't smile. You can't raise your eyebrows just enough to look confused and apologetic. The phone holds no visual saving grace.
I thought that skype was a perfect savior to my problem of telephones, where I could talk long distances (for long times) and see the face of the person I am communicating with. We can make faces at each other, ruminate and be able to better understand vocal tones, just by seeing someone's face. When the camera goes in and out, that's the only time I feel poorly about skype. But it's so much better being able to see a face, or even just a computer screen, and converse.
That said, there's a few people that I will talk on the phone to regularly. Who's name will snow up on my caller ID and I'll leap up and find a quiet little corner and talk to them for hours. Well, one person, really. I'll talk to my parents on the phone, call them periodically (OK, often), but we just chat. Not the in depth conversations I otherwise have with this one person.
So I screen calls. I only answer certain people, and only if it's one hundred percent necessary. Like if it's my parents, someone I'm meeting in the next 5 minutes or part of my job. If I don't recognize the number, I probably won't even listen to the voice mail. Actually, if you leave a voice mail in general, I probably won't listen to it until like 5 days later. Don't leave me pertinent information in a voice mail. Text me or email me.
Is this a generational problem? Are members of my generation all like this? Or is it just me? Am I the only one who can't communicate via the telephone. Am I really that awkward?
The past few jobs I've had, a large part of the employment has been answering phones and transferring calls. I feel like this has only added to my hatred of telephones. I'm overly formal often, even with my co-workers, I hang up inappropriately (especially if you're a telemarketer) and today, I dropped the phone. While someone was on the other line.
My mom tells me that my phone voice is weird. Stuffy and formal are the other two descriptions I've gotten. It just doesn't sound like me. I listen to my voice on the phone and I don't recognize it. Seriously, call me and hear it.
Actually, don't call me. I'll probably screen your call.
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