Guy Love, the Scrubs Cast

My brother and his best friend have been best friends for a long time. In fact, they're reaching their 10th anniversary this year. This is the longest relationship either of them have been in.

The concept of a "bro-mance" has always intrigued me, even as I watch this one unfold in front of me. This is the type of relationship where you and your "bro" are more than just friends - you're best friends. It's guy love. Between two guys. They can freely hug each other, they text each other, they love each other. (Is it "luv"?) They can openly say things like "We are meant to be together," and it's not weird. It's funny, but it's not weird - so long as you're in a bro-mance. Bro-mances are cute, and when you see one in the wild, a true, longstanding bro-mance, it's a rare thing of beauty.

Girls don't have this kind of relationship. Yes, we're open and close with our lady friends, but we don't really have this type of "taboo" relationship. It's expected for us to hug our friends, kiss cheeks, be generally close. We are expected to do things guys would never do - share changing rooms when we shop, hold hand when we're drunk. Even guys in bro-mances aren't expected to do these things, so when you see two straight guys be close in public, like arms on shoulders at a concert, or a shake to hug at a bar, it's refreshing. It's real. It doesn't happen often, unless you're in a frat house or your preferred male company are douches.

Guys have rules about their relationships. You can't give a guy a hug, unless it's been more than 60 days since the last time you saw him; the embrace cannot be longer than a few seconds, unless the man is family; you may only shake hands as a greeting with another man, unless the man is family or a "bro". The hand-shake-to-hug maneuver is a thing of beauty, and must be completed with a certain sense of grace. It means you may be observing a bro-mance in the wild. There are other clues, but it's complicated. I'm still not sure how to quantify them, but the thing is, you know it when you see it.

Bro-mances are complicated, as well. The problem sometimes is that the "bros" will not admit to being in one, but you know they are. Sometimes, also, the "bros" will openly call their relationship a "bro-mance", but it isn't. Guys have realized that girls (like myself) are intrigued by the bro-mance, and they will claim to have one, so as to procure the company of the female. This is not a bro-mance. Having a bro-mance has turned into something like being a hipster. If you say you have one, you don't. People want one to be "unique", or "cool", or "alternative", or (insert other "hipster" vocabulary here). But a true bro-mance is achieved only by time, luck and a little bit of bro-magic. A bro-mance is genuine. It's there for the bros, not for the observer.

I feel like Jane Goodall, living amongst the bros, in an attempt to understand their culture more.