Sitting, Waiting, Wishing; Jack Johnson

Have you ever noticed that when you look forward to something, it seems so far away, yet once you look back on it, it's seems like it was just yesterday?

Well, I feel like that all the time. On November 20 of this year, it will be a year since I first turned in my Peace Corps application. On January 13 of next year, it will be a year since I received my nomination. Those don't seem so long ago. A year usually changes a lot of things, mostly little things, but this year, it was big things.

Let's review. I turned in my Peace Corps application. I received a nomination. I got shoulder surgery. I regained use of my arm. I graduated from College. I moved home. I got a job. I got another job. I got my invitation. That's the big stuff. Everything else is fairy inconsequential. I can look back on each of these events and I'm surprised by how long ago they were - they feel like just yesterday.

Technically, my departure date is closer than all of these events, except receiving my invitation. Yet, the 54 days between now and then seem like an eternity. Yes I have started a countdown. Between me and January 10th is a multitude of people, moments and interactions with friends, family and strangers. The constant question a recent grad gets: "What are you doing?" Waiting. "For what?" January 10th.

The first thing people say when they find out when I leave is always, "Oh the time will go by so fast."

They're right. It probably will. But it won't go by that fast as I'm living it. For the past year, I've been waiting. In between and bouncing between Applicant, Nominee, In Limbo, Invitee. It will culminate and become real when I'm a Trainee. But honestly, this year has been made up of waiting.

Waiting is hard. Not just because I'm incredibly impatient, but also because people don't tend to understand the concept of "I don't know yet." "How do you not know? Why don't they tell you? That just seems silly." Yes, and you telling me all these things doesn't change the fact that I don't know. I developed a response early in this process, where I smile and shrug my shoulders, ruing the difficulty of government agencies. Which, sometimes, elicited the response: "Why, then?"

This was a harder question to answer. Some people asked out of genuine interest, others simply to be a pain in the ass. For some reason, not many people understand actually following through with a goal you've had since childhood. Which is ridiculous - most of my friends who have had goals already have achieved them. Depending on the situation, I would change the answer to this question. "You can't get experience like this anywhere else." "The benefits, man." "When I was 15, blah blah blah turtles!"

I hate these questions. I hate my cliche bottled answers more. So in the future, when someone tells you their dreams or their profession, be it in the Peace Corps or as an astronaut, unless you really care, don't ask why. And unless you want to be a pain in their ass and a reminder of the waiting, just stop at "How cool!" or whatever else people say. The waiting is the hardest part. It's only worth it because I know this will be one of the best experiences of my life, both life changing and life affirming. And I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity.