The Kids Don't Stand a Chance, Vampire Weekend

I sometimes feel as though I have no peers in Panama, other than Peace Corps Volunteers or Americans living in Panama.  The Panamanians of my age group have polar opposite priorities from where I drive myself.  I’m looking for an experience, a job and an education.  They look for love, marriage and kids.  Sometimes not in that order.

My host family in Los Mortales had seven kids.  Five of those had kids of their own.  Two of those were married, either civilly or religiously.  The oldest, in her mid thirties, has an eleven year old.  I’m not sure of the involvement of the father.  The next, in her early thirties, has a nine year old, and has been married for a little over ten years.  John, the 28 year old, is an anomaly.  He has no kids, no girlfriend – not for lack of trying.  His younger brother, Toñín, has a year old baby at twenty three.  What’s more, his girlfriend kicked him out when Juan David was about nine months old.  The reasoning was never made public, Toñín no longer speaks to nor sees her, and he quickly started seeing a new girl who soon after moved into the house he shares with his parents.  I think they’re trying for another kid.

My favorite “brother”, Gringo, entered into a civil union with his “mujer”, Yami, after she became pregnant with her first child.  They are not married in the eyes of the church, but for all intents and purposes, they are married.  Kimberly, now 4, was born when both were 18, and Joan when they were 20.  Gringo is intending to go back to school and study accounting – his family is supporting this decision and helping him and Yami raise the two kids.  As a young family, they are definitely the most stable.  Abdiel, the next youngest in this line, also has a five year old, but he just turned 21, the Monday of Carnival.  Xequena, his girlfriend, has just become pregnant with their second child, of whom Abdiel is not the father.

My training host family is worse than a soap opera.

Michele, the youngest, is intending to go to University in La Chorrera to study engineering.  She does not have a boyfriend, a kid nor are they in the plans anytime soon.  But, she informed me, they weren’t in the plans of most of her other siblings, either.

The same phenomenon is here, in my volunteer community.  My soon to be neighbor, at 20, has a five year old and a two year old.  The boyfriend lives in another part of town, and she still lives with her parents, an agreement reached when she became pregnant the first time.  It didn’t prevent her from becoming pregnant the second time, apparently.  This is the situation of so many of my peers – age wise.  After asking if I’ve ever been married, or have any kids, our topics of conversation are basically exhausted.  We have nothing in common, not for lack of trying.  I am still searching for links between these people and myself.  Luckily, I am not looked down on for playing with their children, and currently, I am using that as a way of trying to become friends with the people my age within my community.

During Semana Santa, I was treated to something, however.  The children of the representante of this community, grandchildren of my current host family, came in from school in Las Tablas.  Even though they place an emphasis on romantic relationships that I have never understood in people in the United States, I was finally able to have a conversation that revolved around something other than children with people my age.  It was refreshing.