Vuelve, Shakira

When someone new enters into a neighborhood in the United States, how do they integrate?  In my parents home, the new families moving into the area typically invite people over to meet them in their own house or they are invited to an already standing neighborhood party.  In Panama, in order to meet one’s neighbors, one must pasear.

To pasear is to walk around your community until you happen upon someone on their porch or in the doorway of their house.  At this point, you “saludarles”, say hello, how are you, what’s new, what’s good and all other variations of this question until you are invited to sit.  Do not pass the gate until then, for this is considered rude.  Usually, I do anyway and blame it on being an ignorant gringa.

We then converse.  As anyone who’s talked to me, or observed me attempt to make small talk, it’s common knowledge that I’m not very good at it.  We talk about children, who they belong to and how many; we talk about the turtles, why we should conserve them or how delicious the eggs are; we talk about English classes, that I won’t give them and why not.  After the preliminary conversation, we sit in silence.  I’m offered food, coffee, chicha.  I take home plantains, oranges, seeds.  Little kids give me marañón, the fruit attached to a cashew; they give me questions; they give me adventures.

The first five minutes of a pasear is telling.  If they look at you as a stranger, it will be torture.  You’ll have to find another way to integrate into this family.  If they welcome you, ask you questions, give you food, you’ve met your new best friend.  Panamanians are welcoming, but on an island, people are used to routine.  Foreigners are tourists, and although I’m the third volunteer in near succession, a white American is always, primarily a foreigner.  Yet the key to pasear is persistence.  Keep showing up, especially when you say you will.  Be polite, accept invitations, eat the food they offer.  Be open, be willing.  Say yes, until you need to say no.  Most days, I eat multiple lunches, snacks throughout and duros.

How am I still not gaining weight?