Square One, Tom Petty

There are times in everyone’s life when you hesitate.  Is the decision you made or are making the right one?  What factors could push it one way or the other?  Will I learn through the attempt, or will attempting be kin to banging my head against a wall?

When attempting to change a culture, you must watch your step.  When up against generations of doing things one way, a mere suggestion of a new way could lead to backlash.  Is that backlash worth it, or will it be unnecessary discomfort?  Can you just sit by and wait for an authority to make a decision, or will you, subversively or overtly, try to change the outcomes?

In Peace Corps, we are expected to work within a culture, open to commentaries, ideas and differences.  To be open to them is the easy part.  You listen, you hear and you reply.  You demonstrate understanding.  “You must do this because it helps you do this,” or “You do this because you think it does that.”  Then, slowly, you start injecting your ideas, by asking questions and making them think things through a little differently.  After the initial challenge, this also becomes easier.

What’s hard is keeping quiet about things you know are wrong.  The things they use culture as an excuse, but culture doesn’t truly change bad things to good things because that’s the way it is in a different country.  Domestic violence is always wrong – it doesn’t matter if women have a different role in a society.  Pollution, in all it’s forms, is wrong – it doesn’t matter that in this country it is easier to burn trash than to find a better disposal system.  Killing an endangered specie, as a fully grown adult or as an egg, is wrong – it doesn’t matter that this is culturally acceptable.

Generally, I am not expected to pretend I feel any differently.  I am not truly expected to play the part of devils advocate, to pretend to agree with something that burns me up inside.  But shockingly, the volunteers before me, in this site, have pretended.  More than that, it has been suggested that I change not only my public perspective, but also my personality.

After attempting to change who I am in previous situations, in high school or college, for example, I learned that it is useless to change who I am.  I would rather be myself and be challenged, than pretend I am someone different and have to explain who I am later.  I would rather stand up for my beliefs, my perspectives, what I know from study and observation to be right or wrong, than jeopardize my intentions by pretending to agree.

In some respects, this will make my service harder.  But in the end, I will feel better about it, for not compromising who I am.